I enjoy life when things are happening. I dont care if its good things or bad things. That means youre alive. – Joan Rivers
Thank God were living in a country where the skys the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. – Joan Rivers
If God wanted us to bend over hed put diamonds on the floor. – Joan Rivers
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. – Joan Rivers
For some obscure reason, some authorities seem bent on making the drinking of wine a ritual more complicated than chess. They have succeeded in inhibiting a large section of the public and depriving them of one of the greatest pleasures known to man. – Craig Claiborne, New York Times Cookbook