Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white. – Ambrose Bierce
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. – Ambrose Bierce
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. – Ambrose Bierce
Scriptures: the sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. – Ambrose Bierce