Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. – Joan Rivers
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was the man goes on top and the woman underneath. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. – Joan Rivers
Yeah, I read history. But it doesnt make you nice. Hitler read history, too. – Joan Rivers
Dont tell your kids you had an easy birth or they wont respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.. – Joan Rivers