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Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suici

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink. – Mark Twain, Note-Book, 1935

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I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. – Don Marquis

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I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. – W.C. Fields

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