If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? – George Carlin
If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. – George Carlin
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. – George Carlin
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. – George Carlin
Mom spent the time that she was supposed to be a kid actully raising children, her younger brother and younger sister. She was tough as nails and did not suffer fools at all. And the truth was she could not afford to. She spoke the truth, bluntly, directly, and without much varnish. I am her son. – Chris Christie