Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do dont need to be done. – Andy Rooney
I dont think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldnt surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number? – Andy Rooney
I like ice hockey, but its a frustrating game to watch. Its hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points. – Andy Rooney
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. – Andy Rooney
The wish to acquire more is admittedly a very natural and common thing and when men succeed in this they are always praised rather than condemned. But when they lack the ability to do so and yet want to acquire more at all costs, they deserve condemnation for their mistakes. – Niccolo Machiavelli