Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum – “My God, the floor’s immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch.” – Joan Rivers
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? – Erma Bombeck
I enjoy mowing the lawn, it relaxes me. It gets me outdoors, it’s good exercise, the freshly cut grass smells great, and the engine is loud enough that I’m sure no one else can hear my thoughts — or intrude upon them. – Astrid Alauda
It is not impossibilities which fill us with the deepest despair, but possibilities which we have failed to realize. – Robert Mallett, Apostilles, 1972
Jazz is about freedom within discipline. Usually a dictatorship like in Russia and Germany will prevent jazz from being played because it just seemed to represent freedom, democracy and the United States. – Dave Brubeck
