Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. – Bill Cosby
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when hes in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. – Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry. – Bill Cosby
A word to the wise aint necessary – its the stupid ones that need the advice. – Bill Cosby
But on second thought, after I decreed the state of emergency, I came to the conclusion that that was impossible to achieve without bloodshed because the street protesters were full of anger and nearly out of control. This is why I thought we needed to find another way out. – Eduard Shevardnadze