Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them. – Russell Baker
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. – Russell Baker
What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. – Russell Baker
In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to ones beloved. – Russell Baker