The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. – Russell Baker
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories — those that dont work, those that break down and those that get lost. – Russell Baker
I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world. – Russell Baker
The best discussion of trouble in boardroom and business office is found in newspapers own financial pages and speeches by journalists in management jobs. – Russell Baker
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? — the cuckoo clock. – Graham Greene and Orson Wells, The Third Man