The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. – Russell Baker
What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. – Russell Baker
I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world. – Russell Baker
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. – Russell Baker
Girls, like men, want to be petted, pitied, and made much of, when they are diffident, in low spirits, or in unrequited love. These are services which the weak cannot render to the strong and which the strong will not render to the weak, except when there is also a difference of sex. – George Bernard Shaw