The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. – Russell Baker
Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them. – Russell Baker
Except for politics, no business is scrutinized more exhaustively than journalism. – Russell Baker
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories — those that dont work, those that break down and those that get lost. – Russell Baker
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? — the cuckoo clock. – Graham Greene and Orson Wells, The Third Man