As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. – Dave Barry
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. – Dave Barry
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. – Dave Barry
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. – Dave Barry