As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. – Dave Barry
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. – Dave Barry
What, exactly, is the Internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a “modem” can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo. – Dave Barry
The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example. – Dave Barry
I could be on 52nd and Third in Manhattan up and ask a strange for directions and they will help you, thats a rural heart. Your car breaks down in the middle of Iowa or somewhere, or Tennessee where Im from, people want to help each other. Given each opportunity, you see how people come together. – Rodney Atkins