As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. – Dave Barry
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. – Dave Barry
The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera. – Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry