You cant possibly fathom the ins and outs of a prepubescent beauty treatment until youve felt the strange but exhilarating tingle of a cottage-cheese-and-Pop-Rocks facial. – Sloane Crosley
I hope to one day co-sign a lease with another person but, well, it doesnt plague me that I have yet to do so. Put it this way: Ive never had to violently tug at my own pillow at 2 A.M. to get myself to stop snoring. – Sloane Crosley
Its funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. Theyre usually quite nice comparisons I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate. – Sloane Crosley
Theres already a marriage clock, a career clock, a biological clock. Sometimes being a woman feels like standing in the lobby of a hotel, looking at the dials depicting every time zone in the world behind the front desk – except they all apply to you, and all at once. – Sloane Crosley
There come times when I have nothing more to tell God. If I were to continue to pray in words, I would have to repeat what I have already said. At such times it is wonderful to say to God, “May I be in Thy presence, Lord? I have nothing more to say to Thee, but I do love to be in Thy presence.” – O.Hallesby