Black beauty – hes a dark horse. – Tim Vine
People ask do you make a conscious effort not to swear? – if youre doing silly stuff youre not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway. – Tim Vine
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said Whos speaking please? And a voice said You are. – Tim Vine
I was reading a book… the history of glue – I couldnt put it down. – Tim Vine
Its hard for women who make a lot of money and make decisions all day long, then they have to come home and be Stupid Sally. Men need respect, and they need to know that they can lead in the relationship, so even if they dont make the most money they need to be able to call the shots. – Patti Stanger