Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories — those that dont work, those that break down and those that get lost. – Russell Baker
Reporters thrive on the worlds misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. – Russell Baker
Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a failed Republican president, and Americans had voted for change. What that change might be Roosevelt never clearly said, probably because he himself didnt know. – Russell Baker
Anything that isnt opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesnt matter. – Russell Baker
What we call little things are merely the causes of great things; they are the beginning, the embryo, and it is the point of departure which, generally speaking, decides the whole future of an existence. One single black speck may be the beginning of a gangrene, of a storm, of a revolution. – Henri Frederic Amiel