The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. – Elbert Hubbard
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. – Elbert Hubbard
The brain is a commodity used to fertilize ideas. – Elbert Hubbard
An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy to be called an idea at all. – Elbert Hubbard
Live truth instead of professing it. – Elbert Hubbard
Perfume: any smell that is used to drown out a worse one. – Elbert Hubbard
If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want. – Elbert Hubbard
God — the John Doe of philosophy and religion. – Elbert Hubbard
There is no failure except in no longer trying. – Elbert Hubbard
A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in the experience. – Elbert Hubbard
Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly. – Elbert Hubbard
Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of the field in hopes that the cow will back up to them. – Elbert Hubbard
Man’s greatest blunder has been in trying to make peace with the skies instead of making peace with his neighbors. – Elbert Hubbard
College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. – Elbert Hubbard
A committee is a thing which takes a week to do what one good man can do in an hour. – Elbert Hubbard
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. – Elbert Hubbard
This will never be a civilized country until we expend more money for books than we do for chewing gum. – Elbert Hubbard
Every saint has a bee in his halo. – Elbert Hubbard
Art is not a thing; it is a way. – Elbert Hubbard
When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket. – Elbert Hubbard
