The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheneys friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said Yes. – Conan OBrien
The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said hed like to help, but hes pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. – Conan OBrien

