After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering grannys words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead. – Jimmy Carr
I dont think its any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and manned up in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because Im not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way. – Jimmy Carr
I didnt plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, its juvenile, but thats me. – Jimmy Carr
As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing. – Jimmy Carr
Thousands of years ago, humans domesticated every possible large wild mammal species fulfilling all those criteria and worth domesticating, with the result that there have been no valuable additions of domestic animals in recent times, despite the efforts of modern science. – Jared Diamond
Protestantism has the method of Jesus with His secret too much left out of mind; Catholicism has His secret with His method too much left out of mind; neither has His unerring balance, His intuition, His sweet reasonableness. But both have hold of a great truth, and get from it a great power. – Matthew Arnold