I dont think its any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and manned up in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because Im not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way. – Jimmy Carr
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering grannys words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead. – Jimmy Carr
I was a Christian. I didnt want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26. – Jimmy Carr
I didnt plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, its juvenile, but thats me. – Jimmy Carr
The Robben Island Bible has arrived at the British Museum. Its a garish thing, its cover plastered with pink and gold Hindu images, designed to hide its contents. Within is the finest collection of words generated by human intelligence: the complete works of William Shakespeare. – Daniel Hannan