Zeal, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. – Ambrose Bierce
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. – Ambrose Bierce

Zeal, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. – Ambrose Bierce
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. – Ambrose Bierce
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion. – Ambrose Bierce
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. – Ambrose Bierce