If youre an old pro, you know how well youre doing when youre doing it, and your inner government spanks you if youre not doing well. – Jerry Lewis
Every mans dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. – Jerry Lewis
I turned down Some Like It Hot. See how smart I am? I felt I couldnt bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I dont need to compete with the wardrobe. – Jerry Lewis
I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I dont get into it because I do comedy already. – Jerry Lewis
Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich. – P. J. ORourke