I would like you all to give me a round of applause as I have not crashed my car in over 15 months. – Matthew Perry
That shes the worst driver in the history of drivers. If I know shes going somewhere, I stay home. When asked what time has taught him about Jennifer Aniston – Matthew Perry
I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then Id get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. Ive since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her. – Matthew Perry
The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, its just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers. – Matthew Perry