The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheneys friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said Yes. – Conan OBrien

Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasnt changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that hes started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. – Conan OBrien