Im at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, Ive just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield
I havent spoken to my wife in years. I didnt want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield

Im at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, Ive just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield
I havent spoken to my wife in years. I didnt want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. – Rodney Dangerfield
Its tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she wont drink from my glass. – Rodney Dangerfield
Why are not more gems from our great authors scattered over the country? Great books are not in everybodys reach; and though it is better to know them thoroughly than to know them only here and there, yet it is a good work to give a little to those who have not the time nor means to get more. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge