Im at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, Ive just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield

Im at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, Ive just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. – Rodney Dangerfield
I havent spoken to my wife in years. I didnt want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield