Quote by Emily Mortimer
So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtu

So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I havent realised. – Emily Mortimer

Other quotes by Emily Mortimer

I want any excuse to come home. My dad is not a spring chicken any more. If anyone says, Go buy a postage stamp in London, Ill go and do it. – Emily Mortimer

Category:
dad
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Im just happy to be a film where for once I dont have to worry about my hair, because my managers are always complaining about my hair looking depressing in my movies. Which is true. I mean, its true. – Emily Mortimer

Category:
movies
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I borrowed my friends car the other day in an attempt to persuade my husband that we needed a car and literally this is true, in the first day of borrowing the car, I got three tickets and I rear-ended it. – Emily Mortimer

Category:
car
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Other Quotes from
funny
category

Theres also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. – Larry David

Category:
funny

Whats funny about that is when I was writing Twilight just for myself and not thinking of it as a book, I was not thinking about publishing, and yet at the same time I was casting it in my head. Because when I read books, I see them very visually. – Stephenie Meyer

Category:
funny

Its unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now theyre like a baby – its not so funny. – Michael Haneke

Category:
funny

Its a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. Its funny and accessible. – Johnny Knoxville

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. – Aldous Leonard Huxley, Texts and Pretexts, 1932

Category:
Experience

The forceps of our minds are clumsy things and crush the truth a little in the course of taking hold of it. – H.G. Wells

Category:
Thinking

Above all, this country is our own. Nobody has to get up in the morning and worry what his neighbors think of him. Being a Jew is no problem here. – Golda Meir

Category:
Morning

Id like to have the flying car, I think thatd be really cool. – Rupert Grint

Category:
car