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They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice,

They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans. – George F. Will, 1990

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You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time. – Jim Bouton, Ball Four, 1970

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