Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha. – "The Villains in Blue," Time magazine, 25 August 1961

They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans. – George F. Will, 1990

When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes. – Don Drysdale, 1978