There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. -

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. – Henry A. Kissinger

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The American audience has really opened up to women being A.) funny and B.) kinda crude. Bridesmaids is R-rated, and I think it was a major coup for women to have an R-rated comedy that did really well. Same as Bad Teacher. – Chris Pratt

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Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. – Demetri Martin

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I tell you, its funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day. – Magic Johnson

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