Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope. – Ambrose Bierce
Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worlds worship. – Ambrose Bierce
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. – Ambrose Bierce
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion. – Ambrose Bierce
And there is monologue disguised as dialogue, in which two or more men, meeting in space, speak each with himself in strangely tortuous and circuitous ways and yet imagine they have escaped the torment of being thrown back on their own resources. – Martin Buber (1878—1965), translated from German