Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. – Ambrose Bierce
Wit – the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. – Ambrose Bierce

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. – Ambrose Bierce
Wit – the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. – Ambrose Bierce
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. – Ambrose Bierce
Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with ones own opinion. – Ambrose Bierce