You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball,

You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time. – Jim Bouton, Ball Four, 1970

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Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything. – Toby Harrah, 1983

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They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans. – George F. Will, 1990

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A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours. – Ray Fitzgerald, in Boston Glove, 1970

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Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha. – "The Villains in Blue," Time magazine, 25 August 1961

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