Online, theres no time. Its always Christmas. – Lewis Black
If youre working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. Thats why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat. – Lewis Black
A father and two sons run Adelphia. Its a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people – three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? Lets send the monkey to Mars, Dad! – Lewis Black
You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work. – Lewis Black
Brits and Americans have hundreds of different phrases for the same thing. Luckily, its usually a source of amusement rather than frustration. A flashlight by any other name is still a torch. My personal favourite is fairy lights, which we boringly refer to as Christmas lights. – Sloane Crosley