Online, theres no time. Its always Christmas. – Lewis Black
If youre working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. Thats why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat. – Lewis Black
And I know this happens because I took economics, and Id explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 oclock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye. – Lewis Black
Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas. – Lewis Black
Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given — when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes. – Joan Winmill Brown