A father and two sons run Adelphia. Its a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people – three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? Lets send the monkey to Mars, Dad! – Lewis Black
You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work. – Lewis Black
And I know this happens because I took economics, and Id explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 oclock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye. – Lewis Black
Its absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, weve got rockets, weve got saran wrap – fix it! – Lewis Black
My mother told me Homer Ditto was not my father. Nope. Mom had had a fling with some other guy who was my dad. Some dude who didnt stick around too long who Mom was happy to get rid of. She chose Homer, and Homer chose me, so he lent me his name even though I didnt have his blood. – Beth Ditto