I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. – Lewis Black
And I know this happens because I took economics, and Id explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 oclock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye. – Lewis Black
A father and two sons run Adelphia. Its a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people – three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? Lets send the monkey to Mars, Dad! – Lewis Black
Its absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, weve got rockets, weve got saran wrap – fix it! – Lewis Black
Its pretty cool that people will pay for something even though they dont have to. Its totally different now to back in the day. Now youre paying for a record because you believe in the band. In the future that will be the only time people will pay for albums, because theres some kind of connection. – Ezra Koenig