I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. – Lewis Black
A father and two sons run Adelphia. Its a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people – three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? Lets send the monkey to Mars, Dad! – Lewis Black
You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work. – Lewis Black
Im torn about late parenting. I believe people should spend their twenties living and having fun and not having any regrets later. I also think people in their thirties generally make better parents but so many of my friends are having trouble – myself included – as fathers get older. – Eric McCormack