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Never fight an inanimate object. - P. J. ORourke

Never fight an inanimate object. – P. J. ORourke

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Everything seems fine until youre about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, its a funny thing, but Im an exception to that rule. – Martin Amis

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Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. – Dennis Miller

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Im not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad at home? Im really kind of stupid at home and more serious in public. – Roland Joffe

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One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guys restroom and she wasnt embarrassed at all. – Zac Efron

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