My mother told me Homer Ditto was not my father. Nope. Mom had had a fling with some other guy who was my dad. Some dude who didnt stick around too long who Mom was happy to get rid of. She chose Homer, and Homer chose me, so he lent me his name even though I didnt have his blood. – Beth Ditto
My dad liked to boil a squirrel head and suck the brains out the nose. Smaller than a chicken, bigger than a rat. – Beth Ditto

