Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. – Ambrose Bierce
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. – Ambrose Bierce
Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull. – Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. – Ambrose Bierce
Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given — when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes. – Joan Winmill Brown