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I do not like football, which I think of as a game in which two tr

I do not like football, which I think of as a game in which two tractors approach each other from opposite directions and collide. Besides, I have contempt for a game in which players have to wear so much equipment. Men play basketball in their underwear, which seems just right to me. – Anna Quindlen, Living Out Loud, 1988

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Life was a damned muddle — a football game with everyone offside and the referee gotten rid of — everyone claiming the referee would have been on his side. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

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American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party. – Sue Lawley, 1985

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck

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Speed is not your fastest, but your slowest man. No back can run faster than his interference. – Jock Sutherland

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