I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
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I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce. – J. Edgar Hoover, attributed
It is impossible to win gracefully at chess. No man has yet said “Mate!” in a voice which failed to sound to his opponent bitter, boastful and malicious. – A.A. Milne, Not That It Matters, 1919