Genealogy. An account of ones descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own. – Ambrose Bierce
Deliberation. The act of examining ones bread to determine which side it is buttered on. – Ambrose Bierce

Genealogy. An account of ones descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own. – Ambrose Bierce
Deliberation. The act of examining ones bread to determine which side it is buttered on. – Ambrose Bierce
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. – Ambrose Bierce
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. – Ambrose Bierce