If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, youll be going, you know, were alright. We are dang near royalty. – Jeff Foxworthy
Thats the great thing about a tractor. You cant really hear the phone ring. – Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if… you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. – Jeff Foxworthy
My grandmas the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and shes doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! – Jeff Foxworthy
The problem for those who assert biblical authority in support of traditional definitions of marriage is that one could, with equal validity, assert that the lending of money or certain kinds of haircuts are forbidden by God, or that slavery and the subjugation of women are authorized by the Lord. – Jon Meacham
For some obscure reason, some authorities seem bent on making the drinking of wine a ritual more complicated than chess. They have succeeded in inhibiting a large section of the public and depriving them of one of the greatest pleasures known to man. – Craig Claiborne, New York Times Cookbook