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Quote by Ellen DeGeneres
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on

I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres

Other quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody elses expense. And I find that thats just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody elses feelings. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
funny
Author
Ellen DeGeneres
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Find out who you are and be that person. Thats what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Truth
Author
Ellen DeGeneres
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Grandparents
Author
Ellen DeGeneres
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Other Quotes from
Comedy
category

Life doesnt make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedys job is to point out that it doesnt make sense, and that it doesnt make much difference anyway. – Eric Idle

Category:
Comedy

Comedy comes from conflict, from hatred. – Warren Mitchell

Category:
Comedy

The guy has baggy pants, flat feet, the most miserable, bedraggled-looking little bastard you ever saw; makes itchy gestures as though hes got crabs under his arms — but hes funny. – Sterling Ford

Category:
Comedy

I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians … just like some people are born dentists. – Paul Reiser

Category:
Comedy

Random Quotes

You are the music while the music lasts. – T.S. Eliot

Category:
Prom Night

You can learn as much about the history from reading about the present as you can vice versa, that is learning about the present through history, which is what I do for a living. – Ken Burns

Category:
Learning

Our firm conviction that ours is a just cause and that we must find a peaceful way to attain our goals gave us the strength and the awareness of the limits beyond which we must not go. – Lech Walesa

Category:
strength

My dad was diagnosed with cancer, so we ended up burying him a year to the day that he was diagnosed. – Seann William Scott

Category:
dad