Quote by Ellen DeGeneres
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on

I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres

Other quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

Find out who you are and be that person. Thats what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Truth
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Designing is my hobby. If I didnt do what I do for a living – at some point when I dont do this for a living – Ill probably just do design work. I love finding really special pieces of furniture. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
design
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We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Home
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Other Quotes from
Comedy
category

The guy has baggy pants, flat feet, the most miserable, bedraggled-looking little bastard you ever saw; makes itchy gestures as though hes got crabs under his arms — but hes funny. – Sterling Ford

Category:
Comedy

Comedy deflates the sense precisely so that the underlying lubricity and malice may bubble to the surface. – Paul Goodman

Category:
Comedy

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue. – Woody Allen

Category:
Comedy

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. Its literary suicide. – Erma Bombeck

Category:
Comedy

Random Quotes

To exaggerate is to weaken. – Jean François de La Harpe, Melanie, 1770

Category:
Exaggeration

Prior to being allowed to enter the profession, prospective teachers should be asked to talk with a group of friendly students for at least half an hour and be able to engage them in an interesting conversation about any subject the prospective teacher wants to talk about. – William Glasser

Category:
teacher

The flattery of posterity is not worth much more than contemporary flattery, which is worth nothing. – Jorge Luis Borges

Category:
Flattery

The wit makes fun of other persons the satirist makes fun of the world the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people – that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature. – James Thurber

Category:
Nature