Quote by Ellen DeGeneres
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on

I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres

Other quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Equality
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Find out who you are and be that person. Thats what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Truth
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While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. Id say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. – Ellen DeGeneres

Category:
Success
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Other Quotes from
Comedy
category

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. – George Jean Nathan

Category:
Comedy

Todays comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Todays comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes hes telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week. – Lenny Bruce

Category:
Comedy

The guy has baggy pants, flat feet, the most miserable, bedraggled-looking little bastard you ever saw; makes itchy gestures as though hes got crabs under his arms — but hes funny. – Sterling Ford

Category:
Comedy

Comedy naturally wears itself out — destroys the very food on which it lives; and by constantly and successfully exposing the follies and weaknesses of mankind to ridicule, in the end leaves itself nothing worth laughing at. – William Hazlitt

Category:
Comedy

Random Quotes

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays. – Cathy Ladman

Category:
Religion

It was a splendid summer morning and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong. – John Cheever

Category:
Morning

Occasionally I find a travel book that is both illuminating and entertaining, where vivid writing and research replace self-indulgence and sloppy prose. – Arthur Smith

Category:
Travel

Time misspent in youth is sometimes all the freedom one ever has. – Anita Brookner

Category:
Freedom