Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act. – Marty Feldman
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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres. – Ellen DeGeneres
Todays comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Todays comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes hes telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week. – Lenny Bruce
We mustnt complain too much of being comedians — its an honorable profession. If only we could be good ones the world might gain at least a sense of style. We have failed — thats all. We are bad comedians, we arent bad men. – Graham Greene
Comedy naturally wears itself out — destroys the very food on which it lives; and by constantly and successfully exposing the follies and weaknesses of mankind to ridicule, in the end leaves itself nothing worth laughing at. – William Hazlitt
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest Second, by imitation, which is easiest and third by experience, which is the bitterest. – Confucius