Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head aint funny! – Mitch Hedberg
I dont have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman whod be mad at me for saying that. – Mitch Hedberg
Yknow, you cant please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show. – Mitch Hedberg
I like refried beans. Thats why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe theyre just as good and were just wasting time. You dont have to fry them again after all. – Mitch Hedberg
I feel like Im really blessed and lucky that I have a very good social life outside of the gym, and I have a really amazing family. My parents are so supportive. I have a younger brother and two younger sisters, and theyre really awesome. So I feel like I get the best of both worlds. – Aly Raisman