God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. – Robin Williams
Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man. – Arthur Helps, Thoughts in the Cloister and the Crowd, 1835
The analysis of man discloses three chemical elements — a job, a meal and a woman. – Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)
The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. – Author Unknown
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. – Henry Louis Mencken
There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. – Author Unknown
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. – Helen Rowland
Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. – James Shubert
Men are only as loyal as their options. – Bill Maher
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. – Katharine Hepburn
I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself. – Yoko Ono
Nothing is forever, if you have enough power tools. – S.A. Sachs
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. – Author Unknown
When it comes to hiding porn, every man is a CIA agent. – S.A. Sachs
Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. – Dave Barry
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. – Natalie Wood
Men lose more conquests by their own awkwardness than by any virtue in the woman. – Ninon de Lenclos
A man is two people, himself and his cøck. A man always takes his friend to the party. Of the two, the friend is the nicer, being more able to show his feelings. – Beryl Bainbridge
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. – Germaine de Staël
A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position. – Oscar Wilde
