In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis. – Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1978
I wouldnt totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But Im not going to go out of my way. – Joe Rogan
Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly. – Robert Harling, Steel Magnolias