In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with childen. – Robert Benchley
I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of lifes sensational pleasures. – Robert Benchley
Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. – Robert Benchley
The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest. – Robert Benchley