If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater… suggest that he wear a tail. – Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. – Fran Lebowitz
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, dont teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. – Fran Lebowitz
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure. – Fran Lebowitz
By the way, movies are like sporting events in that youre as good as the movie youre in. You can sit in a room for 20 years and go do a movie and you can just kill in it and you move to the head of the line again. By the same token, you can do five movies a year and if theyre dreck, its nothing. – Albert Brooks