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Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that

Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function. – Richard Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. “The Mudge,” fr

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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry

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There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. – Bat Masterson

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Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it’s usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs? – Christopher Morley, Contribution to a Contribution

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Perfume: any smell that is used to drown out a worse one. – Elbert Hubbard

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