Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that

Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function. – Richard Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. “The Mudge,” fr

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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry

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I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror. – Elaine Dundy

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There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. – Bat Masterson

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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. – Will Rogers

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Truth is what works. – William James

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We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God. – Thomas Merton

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If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor. – Jennifer Jones

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When it is a question of Gods almighty Spirit, never say, I cant. – Oswald Chambers

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