There are things you just cant do in life. You cant beat the phone company, you cant make a waiter see you until hes ready to see you, and you cant go home again. – Bill Bryson
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. – Bill Bryson
I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted — stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. – Bill Bryson
I have long known that it is part of Gods plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth. – Bill Bryson
I hope that Im sexy in a different kind of way than I think that a lot of girls are right now. I think a lot of girls in the public eye, especially musical artists, are just kind of objectified a little bit and wearing super-skimpy outfits and leaving nothing to the imagination. – Emmy Rossum