The Super Bowl isnt for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account. – Andy Rooney
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. – Andy Rooney
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe. – Andy Rooney
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you cant eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as progress, doesnt spread. – Andy Rooney